Delusions

I believe it was Spinoza who said that the difference between a man going through life and a rock falling down a hill was that the rock didn’t have any delusions about being in control. I’m not much of a philosopher, and I don’t waste a lot of time reading philosophy either. I don’t agree with much of what Spinoza said, but he might have been on to something. I like to think that I am the “master of my fate” and “the captain of my soul”, as the British poet, William Henley wrote in his poem “Invictus”. I make careful plans, I schedule my time, and I keep a calendar. But, to quote yet another philosopher of sorts, the late John Lennon, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” It is almost comically predictable that just when I think everything is falling into place, all my plans are working out, and everything will turn out just as I hoped, something happens. Life happens. In fact, I’ve become convinced that it is precisely at those moments when everything seems to be coming off the rails that we prove who and what we really are. Anyone can probably hit a little white ball into a little hole repeatedly with a high degree of success if we remove all the little obstacles and variables. But then, that would not be golf, would it? There is grass growing, wind blowing, birds flying by, people talking, cars on the highway, airplanes overhead. And with all the little details of grip and stance and stroke speed, it is a real challenge. In fact, I suspect that, even with all their skill and experience, most of the top pros would have to admit that there is an element of chance in every long putt. I was watching Andre Agassi play a tennis match on television against a young fellow from Canada. I expected Agassi to win and he did. But he certainly didn’t make every point along the way. No, he gave up many points. And I watched him when that happened. He appeared to consider, maybe only for a second or two, how he had lost the point. Then he seemed to make a tiny shake of his head, clear his mind of it, and get set for the next serve. He rarely lost two points in a row. He seemed to file away data, make an adjustment, and move on. My point in all this is that I believe our lives are a bit like guided missiles. Think about that analogy for a moment. When a so-called guided missile leaves the launching pad, it definitely is not aimed toward its target, is it? No. It is probably pointing straight up. But the guidance system has the necessary data regarding the precise location of the target. As soon as the rocket is launched, the guidance system begins to make a series of course corrections. Those corrections continue throughout the flight until finally the target is hit. You could say that the missile was “off target” through most of its flight. To have success in life we must understand what our target is. We have to have some clear sense of purpose. That’s the reason why setting goals is so important. No ship’s captain would ever leave port without first knowing what his destination is. You might think of the final destination as a long-term goal. Other ports of call along the way would be short term goals. When the ship leaves port, the captain sets course for his first port of call. That course might have to include many changes in direction. So it is in life. We make plans. We think we are in control. And to the extent that we recognize the need for course corrections along the way, perhaps we are in control. But we don’t live in a bubble. Things do happen and we cannot isolate ourselves from them in every case. Sometimes we must stop what we are doing and deal with a problem. Sometimes we must even adjust our goals. I can’t recall who it was right now, but someone once said that life is a series of problems, and living is the process of solving those problems. The trouble-free life just doesn’t exist. As we try to move forward, we meet resistance in the form of obstacles. We can view those obstacles as problems, or we can consider them as opportunities. Many times, it is not the problem itself that cause us the most trouble. It is our attitude toward it that can keep us from dealing with it successfully. Think of it in terms of exercise. It is the resistance that makes us stronger, right?
This might be a good place to admit something to you, and to myself. When I set out to write a new essay, I rarely have a specific goal or purpose in mind. I usually think of, or see, or hear a phrase and I think about what it really means and how it applies to me. This happens just about every time I read the Bible, for example. Once I have this phrase in mind, I just let my subconscious store it for awhile. Sometimes within a few minutes, sometimes within a few hours or days, I’ve put together a series of related ideas and I begin to type. Usually, from start to finish, the actual essay may take twenty or thirty minutes to finish.
Actually, sometimes years later, I see things I’d like to improve on or correct, so perhaps they are never really finished. So, as I type, I’m not really moving toward a specific goal. I’m following a trail to see where it will lead. It’s like a little adventure. My only real goal is to say something you might find interesting or helpful, and to get it all said on one page. I don’t know if you found this essay interesting, but I did manage once again to get it all on one page, so this is a good place to stop.