Stress and Strain

I believe that most of the problems each of us face from day to day are problems we create for ourselves. Now that is a pretty shocking statement, but let me explain. Of course I am not referring to the daily "problem" of finding a parking place or a seat on the bus or a table at lunch time, though I could probably even convince you that those are also problems you bring upon yourself. I'm really focusing here on something a bit deeper. Let's say that someone pulls out in front of you in traffic and then they drive like a turtle. You begin to get stressed because you don't really want to drive in the turtle train, and besides you might be late for work. If you are late for work, your boss will be on your case all day because you were late twice last week. Not only that, but if you are late, you will have to park at the far end of the lot and walk about half a mile to get to the building and it looks like rain. And if it rains you are going to get soaked because you have no clue where you left your umbrella. If you get soaked, the client you expect to arrive at 9 am will be paying more attention to your disheveled appearance than your presentation, and you really need this contract because you haven't been doing so well reaching your sales target lately. Taking that three day golfing weekend might not have been such a hot idea, but you really needed the stress relief. Of course, that twinge you got in your back that kept you out two additional days didn't help. Not only that but... well you get the idea. Just go backwards through this whole scenario and you can easily see that it is not that turtle in front of you this morning that is the problem. It is the poor decisions, lack of planning, disorganization, and out of control life that is the problem.

I worked with a young woman a few years ago who found it impossible to get to work on time for our 6am shift. So I adjusted her starting time to 7am to see if that would help her adjust to this new early morning job. She was late for the 7am start three times that week. The following week she was late the first two days for her 8am start time and after that, we had to find a replacement. She was not a bad person. She was productive and pleasant and cooperative. But she managed to be late no matter what her start time was. And every time I discussed this with her she explained how she was just under so much stress. It was not my role to counsel her, but in a friendly way I asked why she was so stressed. Turns out she had just purchased a new travel van, totally tricked out with everything but a hot tub, and had trouble keeping up with the payments, as well as her three children and two dogs. I think the real source of her stress was a long string of bad decisions, but I doubt if she would ever agree.

We have the power to control, prevent or avoid most of the stress that comes at us simply by deciding how we will react to it. Samson and Delilah are an excellent case in point. Delilah kept on asking, begging, nagging for Samson to tell her what she wanted to know. Samson said that she was driving him crazy with her questions. But was she? No, of course not. She was asking, beggin and nagging, but it was Samson who convinced himself that he couldn't stand it. He had the power to ignore her pleadings, to remove himself from her, and there would have been no stress. Why pump all that acid in to your stomach because some turtle gets in front of you? Leave for work 15 minutes earlier, and don't let it bother you at all. YOU have the power. Not that all stress is bad. Resistance makes us stronger. You build literal muscle by lifting weight.
You build endurance by struggling against the hill, or against the wind or the current. You grow stronger emotionally by overcoming difficulties. Welcome the challenges. View them as opportunities for growth. Thrive on that sort of stress. Even positive events in our life produce stress. That is called eustress. The turtle in front of you might cause distress. But that is up to you.